Excerpt from above video “Orthodox Christian Spirituality and Mental Health”: time stamp 1:38:00
Dr. Mamalakis – “Think about a relationship. Think about someone you are dating or married to. Do we believe in love? Does it matter that we believe in love? And the very thought and the recognition that when I encounter you in an intimate relationship, that there is something greater, there is something invisible, there’s something that can’t be measured, and there’s something that seems extremely real and true. That’s a believe and I experience it, and, not to be confused with feelings, but to recognize, in the nature of love, do we recognize love as a driving force to who we are as humans and our capacity to thrive. Love has something deeper than feelings. And we can see evidence of this! When my child, a 4-year-old, is sick and throwing up in the middle of the night, you know what love looks like? Love looks miserable! Love looks terrible, and it smells terrible! And when a child encounters that nasty awful love, we see them thrive. It’s in the nature of love that I don’t get anything out of it. And yet I do. It’s not about me; it’s about the child. And we see this in relationships. Do you want to be dating someone who is thinking about themselves? Or do you want to date someone who, actually, if you’re in need, they have a sense of it and they will suffer for you! And then you think wow! This person respects me. They’re not in this relationship to get something. They recognize there’s something deeper than “what I need” and “what I want” and that’s the nature of love. And, when I encounter that – paradoxically – I thrive as a human being. Do you need to believe in that? I don’t think you need to believe in that … it just happens to be true and real whether you believe it or not. The degree to which we open our eyes and our hearts to recognize that reality and take steps in that reality is the time that we encounter something that’s beyond this physical world. And I think the nature of suffering in this world becomes exactly the space where we are invited to contemplate that question: ‘what does love mean?’ I like that question. It’s easy to think of religion as this drug that makes me feel good … I think about bad things, I think about Jesus, I feel better. That is not love! And that’s where psychology can challenge bad practice.”
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